It’s not often that I read contemporary books but this one gripped me before even opening it, from the title and cover alone. What I expected was a modern political horror story and on that front it more than delivered; I loved the elegant simplicity of the full story but the clever way it’s slowly untangled, it reminded me in that way of Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House which was another clever modern spin on the original Shirley Jackson book which serves as self-admitted inspiration for this one.

But beyond that I wasn’t ready for what it would mean to read a first-person horror story narrated from a viewdpoint not unlike my own. While me and the book’s Alice don’t share the same views or the same lives, it often felt like she was in my head. Embedded deep, both when recounting stories of her life which echoed mine but also in all the trauma and fears that society inflicted on her. In that way, her haunting was as much mine as it was hers, and so it felt extremely difficult sometimes to go through the hardest of scenes, because it’s a violent and graphic book that spares no word in trying to haunt you too. As such not only were Alice’s words hard at times, but even more so Ila’s, because she’s of course not just a transphobic character, she’s a transphobic character written by a trans woman. She’s her own self doubts and fears projected back into page, all the ones that society embeds into you. And so again I sometimes found my enemy’s word to be echoing the dark thoughts in my head.

Above all I loved the premise and main metaphor of the book, describing fascism as a haunting of society. One born out of the cumulated trauma, hate and deaths that was inflicted and still permeates our modern world. One that can come back, haunt people, push them to act. One that you can’t just destroy but need to exorcise out the collective mind. I do think the metaphor is perhaps spelled out a bit too much, I think the parallels between the story’s real and theoretical haunting could have been highlighted more subtly. But I also agree with what she says about the time of subtly being over, because time and time again satire falls flat in the ears of the ones who would need it most. Fuck nazis you know! And her living the very real sinking of the UK into fascism I understand wanting to just put out in the open the raw black cruelty of it.

I still think about this book and will maybe take her next one although I believe it’s also in the same vein so I need a pause first to really digest this one and the things it also made me question about myself and my self-esteem. I think it’s maybe a book that affected me more as a trans woman like the author so of course it might not work on everybody the same but I really recommend it.